Friday, June 3, 2011

The after-glow.

But the fundamental flaw in this God-given high is, How do we follow up? How do we live up to its defective expectation?

Mr Armstrong says that, unfortunately, when the early period of heated passion diminishes, it looks as if love is declining.

Now aint that just an unfair truth: The perceived "genuine period of love" has passed. They honeymoon is over. And then comes... what, exactly? Hopefully more love and happy days of course, but perhaps threatened by increased cases of irritation, the revealing of annoying habits, boredom, disillusionment, and - the worst culprit of all - repetition. No more surprises.

So, when things get hard and love is tested, we often turn to the physically and mentally impossible: we try to go back to the early days. To revive the giddy Glow in order to regain what has been "lost". And, as Mr Armstrong explains, not only is this tragically unachievable, but it bestows unnecessary elevation upon the beginning of a relationship, and thus, stabbing its future in the back.

We all want love that lasts, right? So, according to this view, what we really need to do is accept that love changes its looks with time. It develops wrinkles. It grows a little fatter. It loses its hair. We need to trust that the giddy Glow (no matter how pretty it may be) is not the benchmark - nor the ideal version of love. It's just a lovely little starting-point; an emotionally powerful kick-up-the-butt from nature to ensure things get going and our survival on earth is maintained.

But then, after nature's little "welcome to a new relationship" present - we're on our own. We then need to cultivate a mature attitude towards ever-lasting love, and trust that what comes next is the real test... that we don't need to pull out our gun and shoot, just because we suddenly find ourselves in the after-glow.


  1. Hi =)
    I found you on FTLB link up.
    I look forward to checking out more of your blog.

  2. There is not enough writing out there on what love is like in the after glow. About how love develops. We all understand the butterfly feeling, but it's hard to think of how to describe what I experience with my husband, because our love has expanded beyond that just one moment, you know? The beginning is easy to describe because it's just taht butterfly moment, but now our love is so many different things. It's feeling proud of his accomplishments, the feeling of still being surprised and impressed by things he does years later, and curling up next to him after a particularly bad day. And thousands of other things like that. It's just...more.


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