"It's all good." Poppycock.

Sometimes I have a fear that my blog is a bit too rosy. That those who read it might get annoyed with my endless I heart Hong Kong! I heart my boyfriend! My job! My life! posts.

Because, while I do love a lot of things in my life, that life leaks happiness and smiles from just as many holes as the rest of us. I don't know about you, but I haven't reached My Perfect Life. I know I never will, because it's a place I made up and it changes as fast as my taste in male celebrities.

But, I do know I am a positive thinker. I can see that through reading this blog. I guess rose-coloured glasses just tend to go with my outfits better. I'm just not that good at posts that rip things apart and dish out tales of woe, even though I'd like to be, as I find them the most compelling to read.

So, for the sake of balance, I thought I'd list a few ugly truths from my life that remind me that I'm not in My Perfect Life; I'm still caught somewhere between Birth and My Imperfect Life.

n.b. these are not necessarily the worst admissions of my life I could make and some of them are just plain shallow, but they're meant to be just a random mixture of things that remind me it all pretty much sucks sometimes.

♥ When I grew up, all I ever wanted to be was an actor. When Australia's most prestigious drama school NIDA (which trained the likes of Cate Blanchett and Mel Gibson) invited me in for a very rare call-back when I was in my early twenties, I got lazy and didn't show up. I've spent most of my years since wanting to reach into the past and box myself around the ears for that.

♥ I can't sleep unless the room is darker than dark (black is too light), there is no trace of sound at all (silence is too loud; snoring is absolutely out of the question) and the sheets aren't all bunched up. B calls me 'the princess and the pea'.

♥ I'm pretty lazy, even though I really wish I wasn't. Generally, I hate getting up, cleaning, exercise, and too many nights out. Sometimes I feel like I'm an 80-year-old in a 30-year-old's body. 

♥ I'm short, I have flat hair and small eyes. Given that hot people generally have long legs, voluminous hair and big eyes, this is definitely one for the negative column.

♥ My relationship, while friggin' excellent, didn't kick off with love-drunk weeks of being unable to eat, fireworks and declarations of love at first sight. Sometimes I wonder if that's a bad thing. But mostly I just want to kiss him and just accept that every couple has their own story.

♥ I am pretty much scared of everything. Oh, except snakes. For some reason I can handle those. Sharks? Spiders? Bears? Owls? Butterflies? Torches? They all freak me out. Yes, owls (their giant nighttime eyes are creepy), butterflies (I don't like anything buzzing around me) and torches (to me, they symbolize crime). 

♥ I can never, ever make a decision without worrying about what I might be missing out on.

♥ Sometimes I feel like I have too many work avenues going on, and that I'm in danger of being a jack-of-all-trades, and a master of none. 


♥ I am incapable of eating without food ending up somewhere on my face or in my hair. I can't tell you how many times someone has joked to me, "saving some for later are we Nat?"

♥ It doesn't matter how careful I am with my handbags, they always end up a filthy mess on the inside with crumbs, crushed old receipts and gum wrapping papers. When I peer inside, I remember that I'm really not all that classy.


♥ My Facebook comments and status updates will never be as funny and witty as my boyfriend's.

♥ I find it hard to accept what I have, and always seem to want more.

But friends, I couldn't finish this post without inserting this photo... a lovely handwritten little note that I found on my computer this morning. So, rather than leave with a taste of the negative on my tongue, I'm switching back to the positive. I consider myself a very lucky girl. And the endless road to My Perfect Life may be scattered with bumps, mosquitoes, bad eighties road trip music, excess baggage and the occasional traffic accident, but - all in all - it's really not all that bad.